I went out with a girl I’d met online last summer. I like to do things in style, so I told her I wanted to take her out to dinner at this fancy and expensive restaurant in our town. She sounded really into it. I picked her up at her place and she looked smokin’ hot—wearing a sexy red dress, stilettos, and the best accessory: her body. She said she’d always wanted to try this restaurant, that she loves going to fancy places and being treated like a princess. I’m into spoiling a girl, but only if she deserves it.

As soon as we get there, the maitre d’ greets us and get this, he says to her: “It’s nice to see you again.” Okay, weird—I thought she said she’d never been here, before. Then once we’re seated, she starts stroking my arm, nuzzles into my ear and says we should get a bottle of Dom Pérignon to celebrate our first date. I’m not really into spending an arm and a leg for champagne, so I said maybe we should get some wine, instead. She looked at the wine list and chose one of the reds at the bottom of the list—where the most expensive bottles are! Weird, again. Then, when the waiter comes to take our order, she orders the steak and lobster meal—the most expensive thing on the menu! Now I’m thinking—okay, what kind of a girl takes advantage like that on a first date? Like I said, I’m all for spoiling a girl, but there’s a girl who deserves it and there’s a girl who pushes things way too soon. That was the third weird thing and the last straw, and I decided that’s it.

I also ordered the steak and lobster. I then ordered a fantastic French truffle mousse for dessert and a glass of their finest port, too. Before the bill came, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I headed to the front of the restaurant where the bathrooms are, and instead of going to the bathroom, I walked straight out the door and left her with the bill!

Submitted by Andrew